Healing from Disautonomia, EDS, POTS, Chiari malformation, Gastroparesis & More with Rachael Elizabeth: EP 145

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Chazmith: Welcome to Our Power Is Within Podcast. I'm your host, Chazmith, and my mission for this podcast is to inspire you to take your power back, and to realize that you are the healer that you've been looking for all along. We are all capable of healing in mind and body and in soul.

00:00:23 Chazmith: Today's episode is sponsored by Jeannie Kulwin Coaching. And for those of you who already aren't familiar with Jeannie, she's a stress and mind body coach based out of LA, who's been a guest on this podcast twice now. You can check out our most recent episode, number 120, where we got to have a fun and transformative conversation on the power of emotions. Or check out episode 95, where she gave us simple and practical action steps plan to begin implementing in our life right away, to make positive impact. Jeannie herself battled fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and dozens of other mysterious symptoms that drained her mentally and physically for over 16 years. Her life forever changed when she discovered mind-body healing. And then fueled by her incredible recovery, she left her unfulfilling teaching job, and now fully supports clients through their healing journeys.

00:01:12 Chazmith: If you've been feeling stuck, Jeannie's one-on-one customized coaching support could be the missing piece, especially with an experienced and results-driven coach, who I personally find to be so cheerful, upbeat, and supportive. She's the only person I know who does a free 45-minute call. So I highly recommend reaching out to her via her website to book your call today. That's www.jeanniekulwin.com. J-E-A-N-N-I-E-K-U-L-W-I-N.com. Links are all in the show notes.

00:01:42 Chazmith: So our guest today is known in the social world as Ribeye Rachael. You might be familiar with her and you might not, but either way, I'm so excited to share the chat that I have with her today. Rachael joined me on the podcast to share her testimonial story, and we talk about all things healing. For those of you who aren't familiar with Rachael, she has made tremendous strides in her healing journey even just in the last year. When I first found her on YouTube, I thought her story was so inspiring, and I have no doubts that you will also feel the same. 

00:02:23 Chazmith: She talks about a few of the main things that supported her healing journey, and we take a deep dive into what those things look like and how they were supportive for her. We also discuss what she's learned along the way and so much more. So thank you for tuning in, and please enjoy. 

00:02:42 Chazmith: Rachael, thank you so much for being here with me today. I've been so excited to connect with you.

00:02:47 Rachael: Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. 

00:02:49 Chazmith: Yeah, of course. I'm glad it finally worked out for us, and I love your background. I'm a little jealous right now. You get to sit outside, and it's good. I'm not jealous, actually, because I get to look at it through the screen. 

00:03:02 Rachael: Thank you. Yeah, I feel really blessed that this is my home. 

00:03:07 Chazmith: Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to be basically doing a little testimonial story today and digging in, doing a deep dive into the different facets and areas that have really supported you as you progress on your healing journey. And we know that so many people, when they hear stories about people's progress and healing, they want to know, what are you healing from? Or what were your diagnoses? Because when they can find a common thread or a common denominator, it helps them to feel that healing is also possible for them. So could we just start out by really not getting deep into it, but just kind of explaining the primary symptoms or diagnoses that you either have healed from or are healing from? 

00:03:51 Rachael: Absolutely. So I'm recovering from a whole long list of chronic illnesses. I was diagnosed with and got Dysautonomia, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, Chiari malformation, Intracranial hypertension, Adrenal insufficiency, chronic Lyme disease. The list kind of goes on... Gastroparesis. Kind of a long list of diagnosis there, but I guess the main ones were probably Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Dysautonomia and Chiari. 

00:04:26 Chazmith: And from what I was reading, you were experiencing a great deal of pain throughout your whole body. 

00:04:31 Rachael: Yes. So I would say it's hard to even pick the biggest symptoms because there were so many. But I'd say for me the biggest symptoms were probably neurological. And so severe migraines, neck pain, severe dizziness and heart palpitations and severe fatigue. And I did really experience those crashes like you would see with me, CFS. I never pursued that sort of diagnosis because I didn't really think it meant much to have that diagnosis. But I did have really severe crashes when I overdid it. Sensitivity to light, sensitivity to sound. Those were some of the biggest symptoms for me. And now I'm doing really well. 

00:05:27 Chazmith: That's amazing. Do you feel like you have healed from all of that that you talked about, or is there some things that still linger that you're still working on healing from?

00:05:37 Rachael: Yeah, so I'd say overall, on a day to day basis, I'm feeling pretty good. I'd say on the last two years or so, I've been on the upward trajectory. And really the last year and a half is when I've started to see the quickest and most significant progress. But I would still say that I'm not fully healed or recovered yet. I've found that even though my physical symptoms are very much lessened, I still have some flare ups, some hard days, but often I would say about 50% of the time now I'm in zero pain, which is just absolutely mind blowing to me still that that is possible. After being in so much pain 24/7 for years. I would say I still have quite a ways to go before I feel fully recovered. But I think at this point I'm more processing trauma. And the nervous system regulation still feels very important for me at this point, but I'm very happy with where I'm at. I'm back to exercising and rock climbing and traveling and just doing normal things. 

00:06:56 Chazmith: I love that. I would say to somebody else who's like, "oh, 50% of the time I still feel pain or I have pain." Maybe if that's the most they've ever felt, they would think that's significant. But if you went from 24/7 pain to be down to like, 50%, that's huge progress. 

00:07:12 Rachael: And it's much milder, too. When I do have pain now, it's significantly more mild than it was. 

00:07:19 Chazmith: Right. It sounds like it's not as debilitating because you're still living life. 

00:07:23 Rachael: Yeah. And my hard days now are ten times better than my good days were years ago. 

00:07:30 Chazmith: Wow. That's awesome. And it sounds like you probably have more good days than hard days. 

00:07:35 Rachael:  Yes.

00:07:36 Chazmith: Yeah. How do you handle when a hard day comes? I'm curious. I love hearing about how other people experience this because I still have hard days, and sometimes I go three or four weeks without a hard day, and I just feel like I'm really on this upward trend, and I start to feel really optimistic. And then all of a sudden, something happens. And I wake up, and it's like, bam. And sometimes I still struggle with how I can pull myself out of it, but there's that initial slump where I'm like, "Oh, not again." I thought it was past this. How do you handle those days and keep yourself in a good state? 

00:08:13 Rachael: Yeah, it can definitely feel very discouraging when you have a hard day. And sometimes if I have even just like a flare up of one of my... I don't know if flare up is the right term, but just that if I start to feel some sort of symptom that feels familiar to some of the most severe and scary symptoms that I used to have on a daily basis, it can feel a bit scary. And I'll think, "oh, no, am I going to get worse again?" But I always try to come back to the belief that it will pass, that I'm healing. I've made so much progress and it's not going to last. And I really try to make that a core belief that if I have a hard day, that it's not forever, that it's just a part of the healing process, and that even if I have a hard day, I'm still making progress.

00:09:01 Rachael: I'm still working towards a full recovery. And for me, I think the nervous system regulation and brain retraining, which I'm sure we will get into at some point, that has really helped me to not be as nervous if I have a hard day and to not feel like, "Oh my gosh, what if I get really sick again for years?" I don't even consider that as an option. I just say okay, this is a hard day. It's going to get better and kind of move on. 

00:09:35 Chazmith: I love that. I have my moments where I'm like, oh, but then I always remind myself, I always look for evidence and show my brain, "Look, you've had these other really hard days, like, for years, these days come up" and I always remind myself that they're almost like opportunities to break through. And I always tell myself that what's on the other side is actually even more progress. I had somebody on the podcast once a while back. I can't think of who it was, but she talked about these days, these moments, and she called them your ninja moments, like, where you got this opportunity to be like a ninja and how you kept your head up and your mindset right and trusted that it was actually like, deeper healing. And so that's what I tell myself now. This is just a ninja moment. 

00:10:19 Rachael: Yeah, I love that. And sometimes I think when you do have those dips, you can kind of come back stronger. I've definitely seen that.

00:10:27 Chazmith: Yeah, absolutely. That's awesome. Thank you for sharing that. So speaking of brain retraining, we're definitely going to get into that kind of stuff. But what I was noticing as I kind of pay attention to your story and read a little bit about you online, is that there's been a few really pivotal things that have supported your healing that you kind of address. And you... can correct me, but I think that there's actually been some things added on to this since then. But a few things that you really talk about have been brain retraining. Specifically, DNRs, you really got into the carnivore diet, which I know you're transitioning now, but I think it's still pivotal. And then the prolotherapy you mentioned as being something that was a really supportive. I'm not quite sure what prolotherapy is, so I imagine there's people out there listening who don't know. So maybe you could just share a little bit about each of these aspects and how they supported you or are supporting you. 

00:11:20 Rachael: Yeah, so I guess I'll start with diet because that's kind of what came first. So I got to a point in my journey where I was kind of at the sickest I had ever been. And I had gone the Western medicine route for probably close to four years at that point, and I wasn't getting better. I had five major neurosurgeries. I had all sorts of hospital stays, all sorts of treatments. I saw the top specialists for the conditions I was diagnosed with, and I wasn't getting better.  So at that point, I was being recommended to have another neurosurgery and it just didn't feel right. And so I really just had this strong feeling that if I wanted to survive and even make it through this illness and get better, that I had to go a different route because going the western medicine route was not getting me better. I was just getting sicker and sicker.

00:12:24 Rachael: At that point, I started looking into naturopathic doctors. I started looking into I read some Joe Dispenza books, I'm sure you're probably familiar with him and just kind of getting a little bit uncomfortable with looking at alternative routes for healing. And just my biggest thing, I think, was being open-minded to different things. And I came across a couple of stories of people who had done this carnivore diet, and I thought that sounded crazy. I always kind of leaned more to like a vegetarian. I wasn't super strict about it, but I didn't eat a lot of meat, and I thought it sounded super unhealthy and crazy. But I started looking into it more, and I just found, like, story on story on story for all sorts of conditions of people just seeing amazing healing and recovery from doing this diet. And so after about a month of researching that, I decided to give it a try. And at that point, I wasn't even able to cook my own food, so my family had to help me and I was struggling to eat it all.

00:13:30 Rachael: I, at some points, was getting really close to needing a feeding tube. I had some doctors recommending that I get a feeding tube. I was underweight. And so basically in the beginning of starting this crazy carnivore diet, I felt like I was force feeding myself, but I was like, every bite I took, I was like, okay, well, this is going to help me get better. This is going to help me get better. And I'd say about a month to six weeks in, I started to see some positive changes. They were small and they were gradual, but overall, just my capacity to do things was starting to increase. So I could eat meals with my family. I could push my window of tolerance a little bit more without having as severe of crashes. And so I continued this diet for quite a long time, but at the same time was still looking into other things to help support with my healing because I felt like diet was going to be a part of it, but it wasn't going to be everything.

00:14:32 Rachael: And I became really interested in nervous system regulation and brain retraining. And I read Annie Hopper's book. She's the Creator of DNRS. I read her book. I read some of Norman Doidge's books as well, and at this point was still spending most of my time in bed. But as time went on, I was gaining more and more capacity with the diet that I was doing. And my family really saw a big difference in me. And I was kind of very slowly coming back to life, and I felt a little bit safer in my body, even though I was really sick. And I would say, I think six months into doing the carnivore diet, I went to have some prolonged treatments actually in Florida. And to give you a little background on why I looked into this, one of my diagnoses was... I never know how to say that, was craniocervical instability and cervical instability in my spine.

00:15:36 Rachael: So I had a cervical fusion actually. So I'm fused from my [school] to C2, and that surgery did not bring me really any progress at all. And I was actually sickest at my sickest a year later after that surgery, but I was still having a lot of issues with my neck. I was in a neck brace almost twenty four seven and very reliant on it. It just felt unbearable to not have it on. And so we found this place in Florida that really specialized in doing what's called prolotherapy treatments. And so it's a type of regenerative medicine which basically the idea with it is that they do these injections in areas of where you have injury or instability and it creates inflammation in the area which actually promotes healing to happen. So it's kind of like an inflammatory thing that actually helps the body to kind of heal more on its own. And so this place really embraced the healing mindset and it was kind of cool. They measured the size of my vagus nerve on ultrasound and they basically did the series of these treatments for I think it was about six weeks.

00:16:54 Rachael: And that really helped a lot for me to get out of my neck brace. And this is actually something I don't share a lot about on my various social media channels, just because I feel like it's not something that was necessary for my healing. I see it as something that was more accelerated in my healing and it's not something that's accessible to everyone and it was very expensive and it's also not something that applies to everyone. It's a very small subset of people that would benefit from it. So that's why I don't share about it a lot. But it was very supportive of my recovery and it did bring me a lot of progress. So I do want to share that, but it's something that I don't like to focus a lot on because it wasn't the biggest part of my recovery and it's not something that I think everybody needs. 

00:17:49 Chazmith: But it's nice to just know the little things that do support us, because I think that's all we can focus on, the really big things, but all those little things that we can do that might support us also add up. And I know there's a lot of little areas that you focus on and pay attention to, to really support your overall system, which is phenomenal. And I know for myself included, sometimes we can get started on something like brain retraining.

00:18:14 Chazmith: And I think for a while there I had this mindset like I just thought that was going to be I put all my eggs in that basket thinking that in and of itself was going to be everything. And I lost sight of… for a while some really fundamental habits that I do think that while these habits by themselves obviously weren't the solution, they were helpful and supportive. And it took a while for me to get back into that balance and bring these other elements back into my life as a regular part of my experience. 

00:18:45 Rachael: Yeah, absolutely. I totally agree. And I think there are so many different ways to regulate the nervous system, and it was really cool for me to learn while I was helping to heal my neck. I actually wasn't getting any blood flow to my brain when I was upright, and that just puts you right into fight or flight. And it's really hard to get into a sympathetic state if you sit up and you don't have any blood flow and if your neck curve isn't right. And I just find it so interesting how it all has kind of a nervous system connection. And so that's something that I've become really interested in, is how posture and alignment of the spine and the neck actually plays into nervous system regulation and overall illness. And that's an important component of healing, I think, for a lot of people.

00:19:38 Chazmith: So when did you start DNRS in this journey? 

00:19:41 Rachael: Yeah, so I started DNRS, I would say, I think about three months after I started these prolotherapy treatments, maybe four, three or four months after that. And I was really ready for it. I had already kind of implemented a lot of the sort of overall practices of brain retraining. I wasn't talking about my symptoms. I was starting to let myself believe that healing was possible. And I was reading books about neuroplasticity, and I was just really excited about it. And I kind of spent months before I started the DNRS program kind of, like, prepping myself, and I think that really helps a lot. And I remember I had this kind of light bulb moment of, like, "oh, I actually believe that I can heal."

00:20:38 Rachael: Like, I can fully recover, not just get better, not just do the best I can with the illnesses that I have. I started to let myself believe that I could fully recover. And that was a big turning point for me, because for so many years, doctors told me that I had these genetic diseases, that they were incurable, that I would be sick for the rest of my life. And I didn't want to believe that. But after a while, I kind of started to believe that. And I always tried to be positive and have hope and say, I'm hoping for the best possible outcome with this challenge. But when I let go of those limiting beliefs and I started to let myself fully believe that I could recover and be 100% healthy, that was a turning point for me in my healing journey. 

00:21:26 Chazmith: Huge. I can imagine yeah. Do you still do any kind of brain retraining practice?

00:21:33 Rachael: Yeah, so I started DNRS last year in April, and so it's been a little over a year since I started it. And I was very strict with it in the beginning, it was kind of my sole focus because at that point, I would say I was spending when I started DNRS, I was spending six to 8 hours out of bed a day, but it was still very low energy. I could do some small things here and there, which was huge for me at the time, but for a normal person, it was like, "wow, she can't do anything." There's always perspective with that and so many layers of healing.

00:22:10 Rachael: But I was able to, at the time, was able to really devote a lot of time and energy to brain retraining. And so I did the hour of visualizations a day, but I spent a lot of time during that. I spent a lot of time outside, I spent a lot of time grounding, I spent a lot of time trying to get sunlight exposure, I did meditation and all sorts of things that I felt would help support my healing and my brain retraining. And now, at this point, I would say aiming for like 15 to 30 minutes of brain retraining a day, and I still feel like it's important for me. But as I'm sure you have experienced with brain retraining, I have experienced a lot of limbic resistance and resistance to the nervous system regulation and things that I know are going to help me to continue to recover. And as you start to gain more and more capacity to do things, it becomes much harder to be that committed to spending the time to do the brain retraining and do the nervous system regulation things. Because you're like, "I don't want to be doing this. I want to be out living my life and doing things." So there's definitely been a balance with that because I think I have this tendency to want to just, "oh, if I can do it, then I should do it, and I should just go run myself ragged."

00:23:35 Rachael: And that's just not the right approach for healing. That's something I'm kind of trying to continually learn and teach myself, that we have to slow down and take time for healing. Even if we can do things, we should still make sure to take time to do the things that help us to heal. 

00:23:57 Chazmith: Yeah, I relate. The better you feel, and then when you don't have as much of limitations, it's really easy to want to put the tools that helped us heal on the back burner. And that's so important. Part of healing is saying yes to life. But I think I've had to learn the hard way. There's a fine balance because it's like you don't want to forget and leave behind the things that got you to where you are and yeah, it's like, "well, I feel good, but you still know that you don't feel good enough." Like you don't feel truly the way that you know it's possible. So it's like, well, no, I'm good, but I want to be great and I have these wonderful tools and I just have to get through this resistance and be willing to still use that. 

00:24:41 Rachael: It's really hard. And I think when you get that capacity, you just get so excited. And for me, I remember there was a time when I just was so excited, like, I would go to sleep and I would just be so excited to wake up the next morning because I was like, I get to do something, I get to live my life. I've spent years of not being able to do anything, being in excruciating pain and symptoms and just feeling like I'm dying every day and all of a sudden I'm starting to live again and I would just have trouble sleeping because I was so excited for the next day.

00:25:18 Rachael: That was just an interesting part of my recovery. But yeah, overall I'm really grateful for the capacity that I have, but it becomes harder and harder to do those things when you're starting to become more busy and starting to do normal life things. And so I definitely have a lot of respect for people that do brain retraining and nervous system regulation when they may have a chronic illness, but they're more of like a functional person that has a job and has a family and has lots of things going on. I have so much respect for those people because that's not how I started doing brain retraining. Obviously I was really sick when I started, but I had the time and just endless time. That was what I devoted my whole life to at the time, was just for my recovery. 

00:26:05 Chazmith: I like that we're talking about this though, because it's important, I think, for to normalize it so that if anyone's out there listening and they've also struggled or had encountered that resistance, they know they're not alone and there's nothing wrong with them and that this is just kind of normal. 

00:25:21 Rachael: Yes. I haven't talked to somebody that has done the nervous system regulation and brain retraining that hasn't experienced it. And I don't know, sometimes you almost feel a little bit angry, like, "I don't want to have to do this, I don't want to do my visualizations." And then I do them and I'm like, "yeah, I really needed that." 

00:26:42 Chazmith: Every time I tell myself, "Chazmith, you need to remember this, you feel so good right now, like, you need to remember this tomorrow." And then tomorrow comes and I'm like, "but why do I want to do that? I can just go sit on the beach." And it's like, well, because it's not either or, it can be both.

00:27:00 Rachael: Yeah. And I think something that is important with that is if you keep doing those things and your capacity is going to continue to increase. Whereas if you don't prioritize those things, then yes, you may be able to scrape by and you may be able to still do a lot of things, but it's going to keep getting better if you keep doing those things. I'm not perfect about it and I have days where I don't do any sort of brain retraining or nervous system regulation and I feel it, it's like I can go throughout my day, I can do all the things, I'm functional, but it's like something feels off. 

00:27:38 Rachael: And so yeah, it's just a hard thing because it's not something that you can just fix in a month or two. It's something that I think really takes years to fully recover from and it's just hard to keep putting in that effort. 

00:27:51 Chazmith: Yeah, it is. And they always say sometimes that's why you almost hit the rock bottom because when you're so desperate, you'll do anything, but when you're feeling a little bit better it's easy to put it on the back burner. Now you mentioned something like grounding and being outside and all of that good stuff. Now this is something that is a regular part of your life even still today. 

00:28:16 Rachael: Yes. So I have gotten into kind of the circadian health and I wake up in the morning, I don't look at my phone, I don't look at my phone at night. I go straight outside whether it's sunny or snowy or raining and I just get that natural light in to try to help my circadian rhythm. And after that then I eat breakfast and I eat breakfast outside and yeah, I just try to start my day off right in that way and definitely try to minimize my artificial and blue light exposure and try to take breaks throughout the day and come spend time outside.  Nature has been really healing for me. That's definitely been a significant part of my recovery, is just continuing to connect with nature and obviously that's not everything. Before I got sick I was spending a lot of time in nature and I still got sick but it's still been a huge part of my recovery. 

00:29:15 Chazmith: Yeah, it's like it goes back to if there's a lot of really healthy wonderful tools and things that are natural like nature and sunlight and all this stuff or like specific diets or just all kinds of fun things that can really support us. But I think a lot of it comes down to what I hear over and over is that, if you do this stuff and use these tools but you're extremely dysregulated, it's going to be hard to really maximize the benefits from them. But if you can work on regulating, and then also incorporating all this for additional support, it's like a win-win. It's going to all work a little bit better together.

00:29:53 Rachael: Absolutely. And I think, with the nervous system regulation, depending on what point you are in your journey, something that could be regulating for one person could be triggering for another and be too much for another. And so, like, for example, cold therapy. I think there was a point in my journey where that might have just been a little too much. I was just a little too sick for that. But now I can use it, and it makes me feel great. So I think it just... As you start to heal and gain more capacity, you can start trying different things and seeing what works best. And that's been something that I've done on my journey, is change and adapt as needed.

00:30:36 Rachael: And a lot of times, with the brain retraining programs, I think people, a lot of people with chronic illness have that perfectionist trait. And they're like, "If I don't follow this exactly, then I'm not going to get better." But I try to share that these programs are great and they have great tools to help you to heal. But they're not an end-all, be-all for nervous system regulation. And you can change and adapt things to what fits best for you. And I think, I don't know, sometimes in the brain retraining space, people are like, "Oh, well, DNRS healed me," or "The Gupta Program healed me," and I just don't see it that way. I see it as... Those programs are great and they're great tools, but ultimately, it's you that heals you. And it's just a toolkit to help you to recover. And it's okay to break outside of those programs and try different things as well.

00:31:33 Chazmith: Yeah, absolutely. Only we heal ourselves. Everything else is tools and support, coaches and guides. They're there to coach and guide and facilitate, hold space, but always the healing is from within.

00:31:46 Rachael: Yes, and I think that's something that I try to share as much as I can. Because sometimes, people feel very constrained by, "I can't afford X, Y and Z. I can't afford to have a coach. I can't afford to do these fancy healing protocols." And what I always like to come back to is the most important part of healing and recovery is completely free. It comes from you. And that's the amazing thing, is that our bodies were designed to heal. We have an amazing innate ability to heal. It can be difficult to tap into, especially if you've been very dysregulated for years.

00:32:25 Chazmith: Other than visualizations, what are some of your favorite regulation tools?

00:32:32 Rachael: I have gotten into somatic practices, and I've really enjoyed just incorporating those throughout my day. I don't have any sort of strict regimen with them. But if I'm feeling triggered or feeling, I don't know, that really fight-or-flight energy, I will often do a aomatic practice. Like we talked about earlier, I like doing grounding and sunlight exposure. And then, I think, overall, letting go of limiting beliefs and just trying to elevate my state of emotion. Anything to do with vagus nerve, helping to support the vagus nerve. I like to do that sort of thing. Just spending time in nature and doing things that help me to feel happy and joyful, and that's what I try to focus on.

00:32:27 Chazmith: Yeah, I love that. So we know that you don't necessarily have a strict routine as far as, like you said, "I don't brain retrain every day, always." Or you don't have a strict somatics routine. Do you have any non-negotiables? Is there anything in your life that's just non-negotiable every day?

00:33:46 Rachael: Lately, it has been not looking at my phone when I get up and going outside, and then eating a nourishing breakfast. I'm still pretty strict about my diet, but not in a way that I feel like I'm restricting myself or limiting myself. But it's just like I choose to eat nourishing foods because I know that that's going to be what's best for my body. And I see food as my fuel, and so I don't have a desire to eat processed foods or to eat sugar. And some people in the brain retraining space have messaged me and said, "When are you going to go back to eating normal foods again?" And I'm like, I don't feel restricted. I feel good with the diet that I'm eating. And it has been a significant part of my recovery. And what you eat wires your brain, and so I see it as a part of my nervous system regulation, to be eating nourishing foods. So that's something that I'm fairly strict about. But it's not in a way that it's like, "You must do this." It's just because I want to.

00:34:46 Rachael: And I think it's really important, if you do decide to address diet and change your diet, to do in a way that doesn't make you develop an eating disorder, or make you feel like you're restricting or stressed about toxins in the food, or stressed about all these things. That's just not going to yield any helpful.

00:35:07 Chazmith: I know, I've been there, literally. 

00:35:09 Rachael: It is hard because... I don't know, it's a hard one, and I still struggle with it sometimes because so much of my healing has been through diet. It's hard for me to even... I want to know what's in my food. I want to cook it. And so it's just like learning to be, like, "Okay, my body can handle once every month or two to go out to eat, and if something isn't perfect, then that's fine." Our bodies were designed to... We have room for error, and we're designed to detox. And it's okay to not be 100% perfect all the time.

00:35:50 Chazmith: Right. I always have to come back to myself and say, "No. A body is designed to be resilient. So when my body is a healthy body, it's resilient." So that doesn't mean that I'm going to go eat, like, ice cream and cake all the time because I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't feel good when I do. I think it's great to retrain your brain's capacity to be able to tolerate any food, but that doesn't mean you have to go live off of McDonald's. I think it's about... It's just like what I put on my skin. Like 99.99% of the time, I'm going to choose to purchase, buy, and support organic natural products, and then be mindful of what I put on my skin. But I'm not afraid that if I'm out and about somewhere and I haven't exposed... And I have to use something, say, I'm at a family's house and I forgot my soap and I use theirs, I'm not worried because I use a normal soap one day. Just because I trust my body's capacity to be resilient.

00:36:52 Rachael: I love that perspective. And I think...

00:36:52 Chazmith: I don't know if this is something you're experiencing, but for me, I experience having to almost go from one extreme to the other. Like, maybe I was over here, and then I got really strict and came over here, and I had to find my way back to the center. It's same with diet. I love cooking at home because... I don't really actually love cooking. I actually hate cooking, but I love eating well, so I cook for myself. I like to know what I cook with. I like to know what goes in. But I've also learned to really enjoy going out sometimes and not worry about it, because I know I'll be okay. But I'm not doing it every day of the week.

00:37:26 Rachael: Yeah, I think that's really great. And I don't know, it's just interesting because, even in the space that I'm in, a lot of people that follow me are doing the carnivore diet or animal-based, and I can see that some of these people definitely have an eating disorder. And it's hard because it does matter. It matters what you eat. And obviously, if you've seen a lot of healing from changing your diet, then by all means, continue what you're doing. But we should have the capacity to not be 100% perfect all the time. To eat something that you don't normally eat and not have it be catastrophic.

00:38:05 Chazmith: I think what matters more than what you eat is your relationship with what you're eating. Are you eating it and enjoying it and savoring it? Are you eating it and guilt ridden the whole time? Like, if you went and had a treat that was sugar, but the whole time you were worried and guilting and shaming yourself, I think that's going to be a vastly different experience than if you were. And we learned that with incremental training. That's what we do. That's how we teach the brain, is by creating a positive experience with a food that was once a trigger. 

00:38:34 Rachael: Yes, I completely agree. And it's also like... I think about this too. I try to live a lower toxic lifestyle as much as I can with my cookware and, like you said, skin products, hair products, all the things. But like you said, it's okay to go. If somebody's burning their Bath & Body Works candle, it's fine and it's no big deal. It's not going to hurt me.

00:39:03 Rachael: And I can choose to care about those things. But my body is also resilient and I can go out. And for example, I like swimming and I know that [boring] pools aren't very good for us. But I think that the joy that I get from going out to swim with my family or something is better for my health than not going. And so, it's just like a little example of, you have to weigh out the situation. Because I think if we ignore the fact that the way people are eating these days and all the environmental toxins are making people sick, then I just don't think you're going to be as... If you totally ignore all of that and don't make any efforts, I think people are going to be a lot more prone to relapsing and having illness again in the future. But we also can't approach that from a state of fear. And we have to realize we don't have to be perfect. 

00:39:59 Chazmith: Yeah, absolutely. That's something I'm working on right now with my artificial light exposure. Specifically at night, it's like, "Okay, well, when I can control it..." I'm very much like you. I don't touch my phone. I actually turn it off before I go to bed. It's on automatic. It has like an automation where it turns off at a certain time. And then, I don't touch it until after I have walked my dog in the morning and get light no matter how the weather is. And that's really important for me. But I also really enjoy getting the sunlight throughout the day, and also sunset light. But I work at night and I have to use an iPad at my job. And I am under lighting and I get out late, significantly late, and I just can't worry about that stuff. I have to trust that, every other day of the week, I'm making all these conscious choices. And then, if a couple of nights a week I'm doing things a little different, that's okay.

00:40:52 Rachael: Yeah, exactly. I think that's so important. And if it's Christmas time and your family is going out to see Christmas lights at night, I'm not going to say no because it's artificial light exposure before I go to bed. I'm going to go see the Christmas lights, or I'm going to go watch a movie with my family if that's something that I want to do. And so I think it's important to not feel restricted or fearful of any of these things, even if you're conscious of them and aware of them.

00:41:21 Chazmith: Yeah, I agree. Balance. But I've learned this the hard way. I have literally had to go from one extreme to the other, and teeter my way back into the middle grounds for all of it. 

00:41:33 Rachael: It is hard. And I think most people would see me as pretty intense still from the outside world. Most people look at what I do and they're like, "Wow, she's pretty intense about her diet and her light exposure and stuff like that." But it's stuff that I care about and I find joy in. And so I think that's what really matters. It's like, not everybody has to go to that level to get better, but it's stuff that I do care about. And so it is hard. It is hard to find a balance, but I think it's really important.

00:42:07 Chazmith: Well, you know what? I think they don't have a say because they weren't the one who spent part of their life in bed struggling every day. And so I think that when you come through the experiences that you've come through out on the other side, you get to choose to live whatever life you want. And everyone else can judge all they want. I have that judgment in my own family, and they're like, "I just don't understand why you're so strict with this," or, "I don't understand why you have to be like that." And I'm like, "It's not for you to understand. It just doesn't matter. It's just not about you. I don't judge your lifestyle. I don't want to live your lifestyle. And that's okay. You don't have to want to live mine."

00:42:42 Rachael: Yeah, absolutely. And I've been pretty lucky in that most of my family and friends have been very supportive of it. And as I've gone back into life and started to socialize again, I think sometimes when people hear my story, and then they're like, "Oh, I guess that makes sense, that you're really conscious of what you eat and how you take care of your body and stuff. That's really cool that you're able to heal." But every once in a while, you do come across people that are like, "Wow, that's crazy," and you're just like, "Okay, think what you want, but I'm going to live the healthiest life I can." 

00:43:19 Chazmith: Yeah, I love that so much. What have been some of the biggest lessons that you've learned through this whole experience?

00:43:26 Rachael: That's a good question. I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that our bodies have an innate ability to heal. And for so long, I was waiting, or not waiting, but desperately searching for that doctor, that treatment, to get me better. And when I started to realize, "Oh, I can take my recovery into my own hands, and my body has this ability to heal," that was really huge for me. And I'm honestly really glad that I've learned that through what I've been through. And so that's a big one. And then, ,I think another one I've learned is that food is fuel, and it's really important. Before I got sick, I kind of just didn't eat very good, and it worked until it didn't.

00:44:14 Rachael: I was in college when I got sick, and I was a rock climber as rock climbing instructor. And I was exercising probably four plus hours a day, five days a week. And so I was really pushing my body hard, and I wasn't fueling it right, and it worked until it didn't. And so I think, for a long time, I felt invincible, like, it doesn't matter what I eat. And I was able to learn that. And so I think that I'm grateful for that as well, because I think it's something that I can carry into further generations if and when I have kids, and just everything to do with the nervous system. Because I don't know about you, but I heard about DNRS, probably four or five years before started it, but I didn't look into it.

00:45:03 Rachael: I just thought it sounded like a hoax. I thought it sounded like, "Oh, I have a real illness, and I can't brain retrain my way out of that. That's not going to work for me." And I just had no idea what it was about. And I think it just takes a lot of exposures to be open minded to that sort of thing in our society when that's just so foreign. And so I'm really grateful to learn how important the nervous system is to our overall health. And I always like to tell people, nervous system dysregulation causes real physiological illness. It's not something that's just separate, like it's in your head or it's a real illness. That's not how it works. I don't know.

00:45:49 Rachael: When I learned that the nervous system is the control center of the body, that it literally governs every important function of the body, I was like, "Oh, that makes sense." And that started to click, and it was like, "This is why brain retraining can heal all these real illnesses."

00:46:05 Chazmith: Well, I mean, we're not taught culturally in our society to be empowered. We're taught to go to the doctors, go to this specialist, go to that. Everyone else besides you knows better for you, even if they haven't experienced it themselves. I think that's one of the beautiful things is that we get to take our power back. And I think it can be challenging for some people at first, this idea or concept of, "Wait, I get to take my power back, and I have control over this." Well, we don't have that much control, but we have a lot of control in some capacities. But it's just not the way we were taught. So I think it can be some resistance from that.

00:46:41 Rachael: Yes. I think it takes a lot to change a core belief. And it takes a lot of exposures with this sort of thing for people to be open minded to it and to really start to understand it. Because they're so used to, you have to find the best doctor, and the best doctor is the one that's going to help fix you and help get you better. But it's like, as much as I'm happy with however people get better. If somebody gets better from a surgery or a pill, I just want people to feel good and to feel healthy. But I don't see people getting better that way. I don't see people healing that way. And so that's just what makes me sad when I see people going down that route, because I went down that route for so long with a lot of people, with a lot of... I made a lot of friends in the chronic illness community. I just don't see people getting better that way. It breaks my heart.

00:47:33 Chazmith: I hear that. So you talked about how before you got sick or leading up into getting sick, you were working out a ton, you weren't eating well. You weren't supporting your body system for the demands you were placing. Looking back now, do you see also... As we talk about regulation and all this stuff, do you see any of the stressors or emotional components or even just the direction you were headed in life that could have added to everything, compiling up and getting you to the point of such an extreme illness? Or is it still not really make sense, or does it make sense?

00:48:08 Rachael: Yeah, I think it does make sense. So I actually had about a year and a half in high school where I was really sick. And I sometimes forget about it because it wasn't nearly as severe as what I experienced after college. But I definitely had that autoimmune pattern. I was diagnosed with celiac in high school. They thought the trigger might have been something like Lyme disease or a tick bite or something. And so I think it was in college. I think it was just a regular infection that put me over the edge. And I was always the type of person that was just like, "Oh, I can push through this." And even as I was getting sick and starting to get these chronic symptoms, it was just like, "I'll just push harder, I'll just push harder." And it came to a point where I couldn't do it anymore. And I, for a while, was going to the gym and I'd just leave in tears because I was pushing myself so hard and I felt so incredibly sick.

00:49:03 Rachael: So I think it was probably a combination of not feeling my body right, pushing myself way too far, and not resting properly. I didn't know the importance of rest. I just wanted to do everything all the time, and maybe a trigger from an infection. I had a recurring mono of infection that resurfaced from when I was in fifth grade to college. It came up several times. And then, when I was in college was when it really, I think, set everything off and was the perfect storm. That's what they say.

00:49:50 Chazmith: Wow. Do you feel now that you've gone through everything, you've gone through a shift in the direction of your life? You were on this one trajectory, you were in college, you were going one way, where are you going today that's different?

00:50:02 Rachael: Yeah, I think I just feel overall so much more conscious of the importance of taking care of myself and taking care of my health. And it's definitely changed my perspective a lot and made me a lot more grateful for just everyday things. Like, I go on a walk in the morning and I'm like, "I'm walking, this is great." And it's just amazing, especially when I'm totally pain-free and symptom-free. Those windows, I'm just like, "This feels unreal," and it just amazes me. And so I think, overall, I want to do everything I can to encourage people with chronic illness that are going through something similar, because I know how difficult it is to be in that place, that really dark and just unbearable place. And I just want to spread the message that healing is possible, and that my story isn't unique. That healing really is possible and so many people are recovering.

00:51:05 Rachael: And so I just want to shout that from the rooftops. And that it feels like it's brought purpose to my life and shows me that I went through this for a reason, just to hopefully be able to encourage others and help them to also believe that healing is possible. 

00:51:20 Chazmith: Do you have any upcoming goals that you're working towards? 

00:51:24 Rachael: Good question. So honestly, I just want to keep sharing this. I recently finished up a course to become a coach for brain retraining and nervous system work. I don't know that I actually will take on one-on-one clients, but I just want to continue learning and continue my education in this space so that I can share with as many people as I possibly can the tools that I've learned. And I really want to make some of these things really more accessible to people, and just produce as much free content as I can so that people don't have to feel like they need a certain amount of money to heal. 

00:52:12 Chazmith: I love that so much. So we've gotten a feel for some of the things that you can do today that you couldn't do while you were in your worst times, like you said, how you can just be so filled with joy and gratitude for taking a walk. What are some of the highlights of the strides you've made in terms of, what are you just so excited about? Like, "Oh my gosh, I can do this now, and I did it before."

00:52:35 Rachael: Yeah, I would say it would probably be rock climbing. So that was my passion before I got sick. When I got to college, I found climbing and I fell in love with it. It became my life in a way that was probably a bit unhealthy. But I have started climbing again. I started climbing again in December. And so my husband and I have been... We started going climbing once a week, every other week. And then, it went to once a week, and then twice a week. And now, I'm going three times a week. And it's just every time I go, I'm so excited. If it's a climbing day, then I just feel really happy and excited to go climbing, and just overall being able to physically strengthen my body and get stronger. And the strength has actually come back quicker than I would have expected, so I've been really excited about that.

00:53:31 Chazmith: How will you approach rock climbing different this time around?

00:53:32 Rachael: So I started doing what's called "top roping," which is with a rope. And you have a blair, and if you fall on the wall, then you just fall right there. So I used to do what's called "bouldering." So you're climbing about 15 ft off the ground and you fall onto the ground onto a crash pad. And I just didn't feel like my body was ready to handle that. So I started off with the rope climbing. And just overall, I've approached it from a way of, like, this is just really fun and I'm not really pushing myself that hard. I'm just enjoying it. And I don't feel the stress of, like, "I need to get stronger, I need to do this level of climbing." And I wanted to be... When I was in college, I wanted to become a professional climber. That's how I viewed it. I just loved it so much. And so I'm just trying to be careful with it and not make it too much of an obsession. And I think it's felt a lot more balanced this time around. And it's been fun to  experience it again and in a way that is a little bit more healthy.

00:54:39 Chazmith: That's awesome. Do you do indoor, outdoor, or both?

00:54:40 Rachael: Both, but for the most part, since I started climbing in, just indoor. But before I got sick, I got to do some climbing in France and Thailand and stuff, and quite a few different places around the US. So we're excited to get back into outdoor climbing eventually.

00:55:01 Chazmith: That's awesome. How can people get in touch with you?

00:55:02 Rachael: Yeah, so on Instagram, I am just at @ribeyerach. And on YouTube, I have two YouTube channels actually. One is just Ribeye Rach, and the other one is @HealingWithRachael.

00:55:16 Chazmith: What's the difference between the two?

00:55:20 Rachael: So the difference is I actually started the HealingWithRachael at YouTube, like, years ago when I was having neurosurgeries and all this stuff, and I was just sharing my experience. And then, when I started the carnivore diet, I started the Ribeye Rach one. And so that one's a little bit more diet and also biohacking focused. And then, the other one is more, just overall my recovery journey.

00:55:43 Chazmith: I have one last question for you that I ask everybody, and it's the one message question. So if you could only share one parting message with the world for the rest of your life, what would you want to share? 

00:55:54 Rachael: That's a good question. I would honestly say, let yourself believe that healing is possible no matter what anybody tells you. Your core beliefs impact your reality more than you could ever imagine. And when you start to believe that healing is possible, it'll start happening. And just let yourself fully believe that.

00:56:19 Chazmith: I love it. Thank you so much for sharing. Thanks for joining me today. It was so fun to finally get to connect with you and get to hear a little bit more about your story, but in a personal way. So I really enjoyed today.

00:56:30 Rachael: Thanks for having me. That was a lot of fun.

00:56:32 Chazmith: Of course. Friends, that is a wrap. Make sure to give Rachael a follow on YouTube and Instagram for daily doses of insights and inspiration. And if you found this episode valuable, please share it with a friend, and share one of our video clips on social media to help me and Rachael spread the message that healing is possible for all of us. For you, for me, all of us. If you do find the guests and information on this podcast supportive for you, I ask that you support the podcast by leaving a five star rating and review if you've not already done so on either Apple podcast or my website, which is www.ourpoweriswithin.com. And while you're on the website, check out the little blue microphone in the bottom corner and leave me a voice memo. I love hearing your voices. I look forward to hearing from you. Until next time. Make this week so great.